It was the morning of September 1, 2011. The water was running at the bathroom sink as I prepared to shave. Something was wrong.
I said to my wife; “Marla, I don’t feel well. I’m going to sit down.” I sat on the bench at the foot of our bed. Almost immediately, I had an aura of impending doom – an overwhelming realization that something terrible was going to happen and I had absolutely no control over it. To be candid, it was terrifying.
I laid down on the bed and blacked out. Darkness. Marla tells me that I had a grand mal seizure. Empty black space.
Flickers of consciousness in the ambulance – more out than in – until my brain gradually re-booted in the Emergency Room. Praise the Lord my brain re-started!
Over the weeks that followed, God brought me valuable insights. My life script had been to acquire, to survive, and to look good doing it. Yikes. It was all about me. It was all about “success”.
What a jarring realization. I simply hadn’t realized that this was the “lens setting” that had filtered my life. This life scripting had set my world view.
What an opportunity!
I have intentionally shifted my life script, my lens settings from acquire to relate; from survive to savor; and from look good to leave a legacy. I choose to leave a legacy through memories, through music, and through making a difference for God’s kingdom. I couldn’t make the shift from success to significance until I re-set my lens and re-scripted my purpose.
Our life script is the core of WHY we are. It can be toxic or healing. In my case, it was so subtle, yet so powerful that it took a physical, neurological short-circuit to change it. I praise the Lord for my clearer vision and re-focused purpose.
My neurologist says that I do not have epilepsy. All the tests were normal. I am grateful.
It was a “provoked” seizure; a short circuit of the brain induced by too-high levels of stress coupled with inadequate sleep. At my physician’s direction, I’ve reduced my commitments and stress levels, increased my sleep, and will be on medication for 6 to 12 months. Consequently, I’ve committed to fewer PIANOLatte concerts and events.
Praise the Lord for these insights. If you can relate to this journey from success to significance from YOUR experience, please make a comment! I’d enjoy learning from your experiences and insights. Thank you for being a friend and supporter of my music ministry.